Lorelai - the Gun Moll
by JIBBSFOREVER in Paris
Summary: VERY VERY VERY AU! Set in the 1920s, Lorelai is entrenched in the mobster scene. Complete with murders, gunfights, laundering, desperate characters taking desperate measures. Read with an open mind. Loosely based on a true story from history. RATED M FOR A REASON.
1. Chapter 1

"Ain't no reason the guns can't be here next week."

Lorelai leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other while she took a deep breath around the butt of her cigarette. Slyly looked to her left, she watched the four men sitting around her side of the table lean back in their chairs, taking their attention off of Red and directing their gaze to run up her legs to where her skirt rode right up to about a hand's length from her hips.

Letting the smoke out of her mouth, she just slightly shook her head as she flipped her hair behind her shoulder and looked from the gawking gangsters to the man sitting next to her. Who was talking. "You said they'd be here yesterday."

One of the men sitting across the little table in the smoky room looked uncomfortable, from the way he twisted his fingers in his hands as he looked at his hands and said, "Some…" he hesitated, and Lorelai knew he was finished. "unseen complications stalled delivery, Red."

Lorelai felt Red's breath on her neck as he leaned down, as if he wasn't being watched for his next move, and he said, loud enough for everyone to hear, "What'do ya think, doll?" His hand along her bare knee traveling just a little higher than the hem of her silk skirt. "Complications?"

She just closed her eyes in a smile as she nestled up against his rough suit and then looked across the table, saying to Red, but looking right at the man waiting for the verdict. In a sweet voice, she purred out, "Business is business, Red." And, taking her time as she took another drag on her cigarette, she turned her head and blew the smoke out before she coldly said, "Can't have business with complications."

Red took a breath, sitting back up in his chair and nodding, his face beginning to harden as he stared the man down, "You heard 'her, Joe."

Suddenly Joe began talking fast, looking around at the seven or eight other men gathered around the table. "You guys know where I'm coming from." When no one moved, his pleas echoed his panic around the room, he reached out towards one of the men. "Ed, you do collectin'. Ya know how it goes with those dumbass tenants, stallin' and losin' their jobs and all."

Ed just pulled the rim of his hat a little lower over his eyes. Lorelai knew no one was going to say a thing to Joe. Everyone knew what was coming. She knew what was coming.

Joe knew what was coming.

Still he pled. Like a sissy.

"Frank, how I supposed to collect when ain't no one got no money?"

Frank just shrugged his shoulder. And repeated her own phrase. "Business is business."

The sweat was visible from the tiny light hanging over the table – pooling down Joe's face as he slammed his fist down on the table. "Fuck, it ain't my fault!"

But when Lorelai felt Red's arm leave hers, she watched Joe jump out of his chair, his back hitting against the wall as he held his hands up in surrender, "Red, you gotta believe me! I swear I'll get you the money for the guns! I fucking swea…"

He never finished his sentence.

Lorelai closed her eyes, the pain from the sound of the pistol right beside her taking just a second for her ears to stop ringing after the three shots were fired.

The blood spattered along the wall, and Joe's cowardly body slid down the wall, leaving a trail of blood behind with only the bullet holes in the plaster a break in the stream of red.

Smoke from the cigarettes and the pistol hung in the air. And silence did.

Lorelai knew Red kept things silent right away. Just to drive fear into any of the others around them who would think to try and pocket money instead of bringing it to him.

Another inhale of her cigarette.

"Now, where were we?" Red's voice permeated through the smoke and silence.

Smoke out, and she just reminded him, "The guns."

He ran his hand down her bare arm, and sweetly said, "What would I do without you?"

To all the men in the room, Lorelai just smugly replied, "You'd jerk yourself to sleep every night."

The small chuckles around the table lightened the mood, with Red's laugh the loudest. "Well, on that note…"

The knock on the door silenced all of them, and all heads turned to see the new guy, the man designated to be on the lookout – he sheepishly stuck his head in. His voice shook as he looked at Lorelai and said, "Ms. Gilmore, I…I'mmm sorry to bb—bbbother you…"

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Fuck, what the hell you need?"

"It'sss… wellll…" The gunshot must've scared him.

Red's voice thundered through the room, "You next?"

"No." Fear so evident in his eyes, Lorelai had to laugh a little as he tried to say something, but only his mouth opened and no words came out as he looked at the stripe of darkening blood on the wall.

"If he doesn't shoot you, I will." She hissed, "What you think you're doin' interrupting this?"

"Yyyyyourr… daughter…"

All the men let out the breath they had been holding in, turning around and she heard mumbles of, "We didn't have this when it was just men in here…" or "Fucking sure leads to some real problems…" or "No place for a woman in here like that…"

With each comment about her floating around the room, Lorelai grew angrier and angrier. And, to the message boy, she spat, "Get the hell out." And the door slamming behind him was her answer to that. Turning around to Red, she leaned up and brushed her lips against his cheek and whispered, "I'll be right back."

"Ok." Was the only reply. Hardened and tense. He was just as unhappy about this interruption as she was.

Putting her cigarette out on the ashtray sitting on the table, she said to the men, "If you'll excuse me for just a minute…" As she stood to her feet, she expertly walked across the room, her high heels clicking against the wood floor of the secluded room. Swaying her hips, she knew almost every man's eyes were on her ass, the pencil skirt she wore clinging to every groove, drawing them in like honey.

Getting out into the long hallway, she closed the door behind her and dropped her act. Anger clicked through her heels as she walked down the hallway, with each step her irritation at being away from the meeting growing. The skinny man who stuttered took the brunt of her anger as she walked past him, hissing, "You'd better watch your back, boy." And he cowered against the wall, but she didn't have time to watch him long before she turned up the long staircase.

Expensive carpets ran up the stairs, the wood inlaid with golden streaks up and down, matching the chandelier that hung down in the middle of the lobby of the huge mansion. Fifty-five stairs up, she turned and walked down the next hallway, pictures on the wall memories from guests Lorelai couldn't' even remember. Who gave them to her and whether or not they were stolen pieces blew past her mind as she reached the last door.

She started talking as she turned the handle, "I swear to God, Rory, this had better be important…"

Lorelai walked into the room and watched her daughter sit up from where she had been laying on the bed. A book in her hands, her brown hair tumbled in front of her face until she pushed it away, revealing deep blue eyes that were surrounded by red. Rory's hand brushed not only her hair away, but what Lorelai knew to be tears from her daughter's cheek.

"I'm sorry." Rory whispered, her sweet voice sounding so soft and calm for a sixteen-year-old teenager.

Lorelai rolled her eyes as she walked over to the bed, "How many times have I said that…"

"I cry too much?" Rory asked, turning her legs off the bed to make room for Lorelai to sit down on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. I know I…"

"And sending someone into the meeting to get me?" The whispers from the men echoed through her mind as she felt the anger grow again, "What was so important?" When she watched her daughter look at her hands in her lap, twisting them nervously, Lorelai reached over and lightly flicked the girl's hands. Rory immediately looked up, and Lorelai angrily replied, "Stop that. What is with you tonight?" No matter how much Lorelai tried to get the point across, her daughter would not stop acting like a weak woman, scared all the time, crying at the drop of a hat, apologizing left and right – not something that would get her far in the world Lorelai had made for her.

"I had another bad dream." Rory simply said.

Lorelai's heart softened, only a little, but she reached over and pulled Rory's hair behind her shoulder and then rubbed Rory's nightgown covered shoulder. "The same one?"

"Blood. And screaming. And running."

It had been the same dream since Rory had seen Red shoot someone a few weeks ago. The man deserved it. Rory didn't seem to understand. If Red hadn't killed the intruder, the man would've shot them all up – that's what happened in this mobster life they lived – it was kill or be killed. Kill or be broke. Kill or become the next guys' girl. That's just how this life worked.

Lorelai pulled Rory into her chest, holding her close and saying, "Why can't you seem to get over this, honey?" Such a sensitive child wasn't a good combination for this place. The place where in the middle of the night, a gunshot wouldn't be uncommon. "I know it's hard, but it was weeks ago."

"He's dead, Ma. He's gone." The girl wasn't crying. Just talking. Things that Lorelai never thought about anymore. "What if he had a family? What if he was a dad? What if his kids are at home missing…"

Lorelai pulled Rory from her chest and gripped both sides of her daughter's face with her hands, making Rory look up at her. "Listen to me." Firm. Cold, even. "We do anything to protect our families." She paused for effect. "He came into our house. Our place." She could almost hear the speech in her head – the one Red gave any newcomers. "And you know Red… he looks after you like you're his daughter, ok?"

Rory opened her mouth to argue, but Lorelai pierced her lips and sent her a smoldering glance. "Do you understand?" Rory just silently nodded. "Good." And then she lightly tapped her daughter's nose with her finger. "Now. Crawl back up in that bed and read." Thinking back to downstairs, she said, "I have to get back."

Doing the motherly thing, Lorelai watched Rory crawl into bed, and pulled the covers up over her daughter, lightly pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead and whispered, "I love you, sweets."

And she quickly walked away, closing the door behind her and walking back to where she was supposed to be right now. Not up here dealing with a sensitive child. She had a job to do. A job that needed her more.

But as she walked down the stairs, she saw Red standing at the door, seeing people out, well, the people who went out the front. The others – they went out other exits – to avoid suspicion. Shaking Ed's hand, Red said something and laughed, while Ed put his hat on and left.

"Short meeting?" Lorelai asked as she reached the bottom of the stairs, smiling at Red as he turned around from shutting the door.

Red just nodded, walking over to her, "Things always go faster and smoother after a problem is dealt with." His voice was cold towards her as he asked, "The kid fine?"

Lorelai shrugged, "Bad dreams again." And she reached over and ran her hand up the arm of his suit coat. Coyly, trying to smooth things over after she left the meeting, she changed the subject and said, "But let's forget about the kid and tell me what…"

He pushed her arm violently away from him, his face narrowing as he stared down at her, "You think you can just leave in the middle of things?"

God. She didn't have time for this. It was always the same. "Rory needed me, Red." And, not wanting to be the needy girlfriend, she turned and walked over to the drink cart. "So can you just tell me what happened?" Popping the top off of the bottle of scotch, she tried to keep her voice from sounding as irritated as she felt. "Did they agree on the delivery of the…"

A hand reached out and grabbed the bottle from her hands, and pushed it away, sending it flying to the ground, shattering by her feet. And Red grabbed her wrists and whirled her around, yelling, "Damn it, Lorelai!" His face, bright with anger, was only inches from her face as he then secured his hands around her small shoulders. "You bitch! You're my bitch and I have told you not to leave in the middle!"

Rage at being handled the way she was, Lorelai yelled, "Get your hands off me, you jackass!" He knew better than this. He knew she hated being treated like this. He knew… "I'm no one's bitch! And you fucking know it!"

And then he started to shake her, her soft curls trembling back and forth at his rage. "I pay for everything you have here!" His breath was hot against her cheek as he pulled her up off her feet, holding her in the air as his hands dug into her shoulders. "You're mine…"

She clenched her teeth. "I said…" And she stared him straight in the face, making him look into her eyes as she warned him, "Get your fucking hands off of me."

And when he didn't, she brought her hand up and slapped him hard across the jaw, the sound filling the room in between the silence. And he put her back on the ground, but this time, he pressed her up against him.

Hitting him wasn't uncommon. Them yelling at each other wasn't either. Because it wasn't a surprise to feel his passionate lips hungrily enclose over hers, and a deep, violent, dark kiss develop between the two of them, him holding her in place, her turning her head for a better grip on his mouth.

Heart pounding. Skin tingling as he let her shoulders go and cupped his hands around her mouth, breaking every once in a while for air, whispers of need and want mingled from the both of them.

He was strong. She was strong-willed. He was powerful. She was irresistible.

She soon felt her back up against the drink cart, and his hands left her face – she heard the crashing of countless expensive bottles of liquor hitting the floor as he cleared off a place on the cart for when he grabbed her hips and set her up on the cart. Her hands expertly began ripping his suit coat off of him – whining for him to move faster as he allowed her to lift it over his arms.

"Be patient, little thing…" He whispered patronizingly.

To which she angrily replied, "Little thing, my ass." And, as she ripped his dress shirt down the front, buttons flying everywhere, she commanded right back, "Get my shirt off me, Red."

And soon they found themselves completely naked, her legs wrapped around his torso, her fingernails clawing into his back as his muscles bulged underneath her hands. His hands holding himself up against the wall as she begged for more, with her body pushing against his thrusts. Little moans from her as she could feel her power coming back as he dwindled underneath her most important weapon – her body. His breathing grew heavier and heavier with each thrust into her, and, just when she could feel he was on the edge, she whispered, "I belong to no one."

And, with one final thrust of her hips forward, she felt him tremble inside of her, and a loud, "Jesus, fuck…" he set his forehead against her naked shoulder, his sweat-riddled body pressed completely onto her, and she knew she won that round…

And she rubbed that in. She tilted her head, leaning her cheek up against his, and whispered in his ear, "Red, you know you need me…"

He breathed, "I do. I do."


	2. Authors Note

Readers,

I am just wondering how many of you would enjoy reading anything else in this story idea. No need to continue if people think it's quite a stupid idea. If you would like to know kind of the gist of where I'm going with this - research or read something about Virginia Hill - interesting find, and I think it would make a great story - making adaptations along the way for Lorelai!

Just comment and let me know!


	3. 17 Year Old Flirt

**Please please please review :)**

Sixteen Years Earlier.

"Legs."

The old Lorelai wouldn't have thought anything of this. She wouldn't have thought anything of a customer in the old restaurant back home saying something like that. Back home, she was the guys plaything – everyone in town knew everyone. That's just how it worked in the little mountain town in Tennessee. Everyone knew her father. Everyone knew her. And, she supposed, everyone knew, just from the horrible bruises that used to line her face up and down, that her father hit her.

So, hell yeah, back home – she would've taken it.

But here?

Standing at her new job, the first night waitressing in this new place, a place that was in and of itself confusing. But she knew why. The outside of the building looked abandoned, done in, horrible – like it could fall down at any moment. Inside, however, lights flashed, tables were set with china Lorelai had only dreamed of touching before coming here, men in suits and women with gloved hands holding martini glasses while sitting at the tables – this is what prohibition looked like.

Again, the man whistled behind her. "Damn, girl, are you on the menu?" And a hand settled on her ass.

She wasn't serving moonshine at the tavern back home. She wasn't standing barefoot on the old wooden floors, stepping over vomit and sticky food on the ground. She wasn't wearing her ratty dress with holes in it and an apron wrapped around her waist. She didn't have a single braid hanging down over her shoulder.

She was standing there, in a pair of heels, a short black pencil skirt, and a white top tucked into her small, frilly apron. All clothes loaned to her from the woman who gave her the job – going to be taken out of her first paycheck – but still. She wasn't that same girl.

And with that, she twirled around, grabbed the wrist of the man who dared to touch her like that, and twisted until she saw pain explode all over his face. "Say it again." She hissed.

"Shit, bitch, let me…"

She twisted harder, ignoring the expensive cufflinks on the sleeve of the suit, putting all her weight into turning the bone around on his hand. And, louder, she said, "You want to go ahead and say what you did again?"

After a few seconds of the man, gritting his teeth – he shook his head.

And she let go, stepping away from him and threatening, "You ever say anything like that or fucking touch me again, I'll crack your wrist so hard, your grandkids will feel it."

Without looking around her, she walked back towards the bar, her heart pounding, but something feeling good about finally standing up for herself. A new her. A new baby. A new life. That was what Chicago meant to her.

Setting both her hands on the bar, she took a minute to catch her breath, stepping out of her uncomfortable heels for just a second to give her feet a break too. It had been years since she wore shoes other than to church – and, last year, they stopped going to that after Father got angry with the preacher for refusing to marry Lorelai and some guy 40 years older than her.

"Hey!"

The loud voice startled her, and she turned around, her untamed curls flipping in the turn. And she looked over to find a man. A few feet away from her. The top of his face was covered in a black fedora, pulled down at an angle, so all she could see was his nose and mouth, which was taking a puff on a cigar. Dark suit, looked rather expensive, fit him perfectly, despite how tall and broad he seemed – but not fat.

God. The man standing before her looked nothing like Tuck. Her skin crawled as she remembered Father reading something outta the old bible they had, making her hold hands with the disgusting man that her father then pronounced to be her husband. She could feel his soft hands massaging hers while he leaned over and tried to kiss her there – their first kiss – on their wedding day. She tried to erase the picture in her mind of that night, taking off his clothes while she laid there on the bed, racking her brain for any way out of this. But Father said her dowry, a milk cow and twenty-five dollars, would feed her siblings for a long while. So she sat there on the bed – and that night, Lorelai purposed never to feel that horribly out of control again.

Unfortunately, it only took one night.

"What's your name?"

Her father would have slapped her for her answer. But this wasn't her father. And she wasn't home. So she said, "What's it to you?"

The man reached up and tipped his hat back, revealing eyes that looked extremely surprised. Talking around his cigar, he simply said, "My god, you're a little spitfire."

He was just a guy. Saw she was something to be played with. And she turned around and grabbed the drink the bartender made, and set them on a tray, with each one she loudly said, "I'd be careful. This spitfire…" As he had called her. "…can really burn." And with that she walked away, carefully balancing the drinks on her tray as she swayed off to the tables, smiling and setting the glasses in front of the customers – tips were everything. Tips would help her feed the baby. And herself. And buy new clothes. And shoes. And a place to live. So yes, tips were everything.

She heard the man's voice behind her as she again walked back to the bar. "You seem like a smart girl."

"Fuck off." She told him, now angrier than irritated.

Until on the bar in front of her, he placed a huge stack of bills. Twenties.

Lorelai'd never seen that much money in her life. Probably throughout her whole life.

And the man's voice leered next to her ear. "Still want me to fuck off?"

Never at a loss for words, Lorelai quickly chimed out, "Leave the money and fuck off – that sounds good." But she was still mesmerized by the stack of green there on the table.

"It's yours." The man said.

And now she looked over – and now, up, because he was standing so close to her – so close she could feel the hot smoke from the cigar on her face, and she asked, "You just leave money for poor girls like me?"

He confused her. Standing there. Expensive suit. Expensive cigar. Expensive drink back at his table. But he was standing there, staring into her eyes, watching her. A smile on his face – not a lewd, "I want to fuck you" kind of smile she remembered her husband giving her, but something else entirely. And then he said, "You intrigue me."

"Intrigue?" She asked, and then coyly shot back, "The way you were staring at me and then all that money, I thought you were going to ask me for something a little more…" And then she cocked her head to the side and said, "Exciting."

She watched him not blink an eye. And then he just stared right at her and asked, "Like what?"

God. She loved this back and forth banter. And she leaned back against the counter, jutting her hip out, and said, "Use your imagination."

And then he looked down her body – not like some of the other men, who just wanted her clothes off. But like he was appreciating her. And he said, "Oh, I am…"

But then she turned her face upwards, her nose in the air as she turned away, "Let me know when you're finished."

Then she walked away, and he didn't follow. And when she came back from serving drinks, he was gone. But the wad of cash was still there. Along with a little note. With a phone number on it. And Lorelai pocketed the money, and put the little scrap of paper in her bra – close – just in case – for whatever reason – she wanted to give this mysterious stranger a call.


	4. Lives Collides

"Now, what about the purple?"

Lorelai cast a scornful glance at the piece of clothing the shop attendant was holding up. Turning her nose up, she said, "A purple boa?"

Watching the way everyone in the whole store catered to her – it was enough to make her smile just a little. The benefits of having an unlimited spending account and connections with the man who could send men at any time into this store and leave one or more of the attendants injured or lame or even dead.

The edge in her voice must have scared the attendant, because she jumped back, only to be replaced by the next attendant, this time, a male, who held something that actually fascinated Lorelai. He held it up like a peace offering, and sheepishly asked, "I have this idea that this will look really good with your skin tone, Ms. Gilmore."

She pulled her glove off her hand and ran her fingers across the exquisite brown fur. "Took you long enough…" Turning, she stood in front of the mirror and watched the man's shaking hands as he draped the fur over her shoulders. He stood there, looking at her in the mirror until she snapped, "That'll be all." And then he jumped back, mumbling something that Lorelai supposed to be an apology.

She turned side to side, admiring how the mink fur wrapped around her shoulders, draping down and tucking underneath her arms. Of course she had three others at home. But this was a shorter one, and, who could ever have too many furs?

As if she was buying a little handkerchief instead of an expensive fur, she just nodded her head and said, "I'll take it." And then, looking over where Sonny sat, waiting for her to be done, Lorelai just said, "Could you look more bored?"

He had his hat pulled down over his eyes, slouched down in his chair, arms crossed in front of him. Without even looking up, he just mumbled, "The first five shops I pretended to be interested."

Snapping at the attendant, she said, "What the hell you waiting for, you idiot?" Flicking her hand across the fur, she ignored as the fur was lifted off her arms as she said, "Wrap it up nicely. Can't do anything without being told." It was exhausting dealing with people always scared of everything.

"Of course, Ms. Gilmore."

She was sure, from the way his voice carried, that he had actually bowed to her a little bit. Which just made her chuckle as she added, "Throw in the black one with it too." Might as well have both types. Black for the event tomorrow night. Then she walked over to Sonny as she reached into the purse on her arm and pulled out a cigarette.

Sonny groaned as he stood up. "Are decided you ready now?"

"Oh give it up." She rolled her eyes at him, and the put the cigarette to her lips. "You know you'd rather be out with me than out collectin'."

Looking like it was the biggest inconvenience, he reached into his suit coat and pulled out a lighter. She set the cigarette in her mouth and inhaled as he lit the end of it for her. While he muttered, "At least out collectin' I ain't gotta sit here and watch you try on however many things just to buy them anyway."

Exhaling, she pulled the fag out of her mouth as she walked toward the door, tossing her words over her shoulder like the smoke that flew from her mouth, "You mean, you didn't like getting to have an opinion on what lingerie I bought?" God. That had been fun. Seeing his face as she pulled open the curtain, standing there in her lacy unmentionables, asking if he thought Red would like the black or the pink ones on her.

He followed her as she walked to the door of the store, his voice flat as he said, "Picking out lingerie for the Boss' enjoyment takes the joy out of seeing you almost naked."

She turned around, leaning against the door behind her lightly as she let her eyelids droop and puckered her lips as she husked, "You'd better be careful, Sonny." Then she let out another breath of smoke as she whispered, "I'm starting to get the idea you're getting fresh with me."

He just tipped his hat back, a cocky smile on his face as he said, "All the guys get fresh with you, Ms. Lorelai." Then he leaned over, his tall frame towering over her as he set his face only inches from hers and said, "Some of the guys say you get fresh with them…"

Oh the wonders of being in control. Being the top dog. Being just out of their reach, but dangling it in front of them like meat in front of wolves. And she purred, "And that's how I get my job done, Sonny." And with that she pushed the door open, walking out into the busy Chicago sidewalk.

The attendants from the shop were already outside, putting her bags and boxes into the trunk of the limousine. Her heels clicked on the sidewalk as she walked over to the car, not even giving the attendants the time of day as she waited for the driver to walk around and open the back seat for her.

"Ms. Lorelai." The driver nodded to her as he opened the door. She flicked the cigarette before she started to get into the car.

Until.

She heard her name. A name she hadn't been called for years.

"Lori!"

Like a deer looking for the hunter, Lorelai darted her head around, looking desperately to be able to identify where the sound was coming from. He couldn't be here. Not after all that…

She saw him.

"Lori!" He exclaimed.

She grabbed the top of the car door with both her hands to keep herself standing up. Because there, walking towards her, was her father. Old overalls covered in dirt, one of the straps broken and the front hanging down over his shirt that was now brown but she was sure had been white at one time. Tall. Bulky, he lumbered towards her. Big hands outstretched towards her until Sonny stepped in.

Sonny grabbed her father's broad shoulders in his hands, pushing the man back away from her back onto the sidewalk. All while Sonny was yelling, "What the hell you think you're doing? Get away from her." And, as Sonny stood between them, Lorelai realized just how good at his job he really was. Because her father wasn't some little scrawny man who hadn't paid his dues to Red. Her father towered over even Sonny, his dark eyes darting between the man pushing him away and Lorelai. But Sonny knew how to protect her, pushing her father back.

And her father yelled, "Get the hell off me!" Then, to Lorelai, he said, "Lori, tell this asshole to get his grubby paws off…"

"Who the hell you calling an asshole?" And Sonny pushed him back up against the shop window hard, grabbing him by the shirt collar and shaking him. Her father's eyes, now completely focused on Sonny, widened as Sonny shouted, "Fucking say that again, you…"

"Lorelai!" Her father yelled, "Please…" He begged, "Tell this guy I ain't here to cause problems…"

Sonny put his face so close to her father's face, and yelled, "I'll say who's causing problems and who's not!"

It was then. She was able to say something. Words were able to come out of her mouth as she said, "Sonny…"

Without releasing anything, Sonny turned around and said, "Ms. Lorelai, you know this jerk?"

She nodded. "He's my father." And then she fumbled in her purse, needing something in her hand. Needing that calming ritual as she said, "Don't hurt him too much." She sadistically said.

Sonny shoved him hard again before letting him go, but Sonny walked over and stood beside her as her father shook his head and steadied himself.

"Hell, Lori Mae, whatcha got, your own bodyguard?" He asked sarcastically, not knowing just how right he really was. Then he began walking over towards her, eyeing Sonny as he said, "Imagine this, me seeing you on the street the one day I'm here in the city."

Fumbling with a cigarette, she gladly let Sonny light it and took a deep puff yet again and closed her eyes in frustration as she said, "What the hell you doing here?"

He put his hands up in the air, acting all offended and said, "Is that any way to talk to your Pa?"

Just the thought of calling him that – that term brought her back to that one-room house, with walls she could see through, that snow would blow through. Back to that horrendous, overworked feeling of taking care of the other kids, stirring the soup over the fire – if there was soup. Normally it was just chicken flavored water. The smells of the moonshine he would make down the way, the curling of the tubes all throughout the lawn – Lorelai could almost see it.


	5. Chapter 5

Sixteen years before

"Lori! Lori, come quick!"

She wiped her hands off on her apron, the juice from the potatoes she cut stinging into the little nicks as she walked out of the open door, yelling, "What now, Essie?"

Baby whining from inside the house, Lorelai searched through the old animal bones that Pa said kept the evil spirits away – she looked through them, searching for the child that had called her away from the kitchen.

She found little Essie, the littlest one aside from the baby inside, standing on the old stump in the middle of the clearing. Hugging her little arms tight around her, she just looked up at Lorelai and said, "It's another one, Lori! Another…" And the little girl's attention went right back to where it had been – on the ground away from where Lorelai was standing.

Lorelai grabbed the shovel propped up against the side of the house and ran over, slowing the closer she came to the stump. "Where?" She asked her little sister, who then pointed right at the thing Lorelai thought Essie had been talking about.

The forked tongue of the old copperhead slid in and out of his mouth as he lay there in the dirt, only a few inches away from the short stump Essie was standing on. This was a long one – about five or six feet long, from where Lorelai could see as she slowly crept closer and closer.

Essie started to panic as she snake slithered closer to her. "Lori, you gotta kill it! He's gonna…"

"Essie, quiet." Lorelai hissed. "You move your feet one more time I'll box your ears in." The last thing she needed was for the girl to go running off the stump – sending the snake right after her. Everybody knew running from a copperhead was akin to shooting yourself.

Lorelai stepped closer, and she saw the snake's head turn to the side a bit, noticing Lorelai's movements. She curled her toes up unconsciously, her barefeet seeing like a big target for this poisonous creature.

Whimpering from the little girl on the stump, she heard Essie whisper, "I'm scared. You gotta…" And then the snake moved up the side of the stump, and Lorelai knew it was over.

"Essie…" Lorelai cautioned, but it was too late.

The scream from the terrified girl echoed throughout the hollow as the head of the snake must have come into view over the edge of the stump. Her little feet jumped a few inches, and then, she turned and jumped off the stump… trying to outrun a snake.

The snake took off acros the top of the stump, lashing out, fangs extended and dripping with poison, ready for the soft skin of the prey he had tracked. Essie's feet had barely left the stump before he closed in.

Lorelai jammed the shovel head down, right across the snake's neck – just in time. A millisecond later, and Essie's foot would be full of venom. The head of the snake severed, blood splattered across the brown wood, Lorelai took a deep breath and tried to stop her heart from pounding so hard.

"You did it!" The little girl exclaimed as she bent over, peering from a distance looking at the snake. Then Essie clapped her hands. "Look! You killed it!"

It had been so close. God. If that had only been one second later – what would have happened crossed Lorelai's ind, causing her to reach over and grab the little girl by the ear, pulling her close.

"Owww!" The girl protested.

Feraful anger coursed through Lorelai's body as she gritted her teeth and yelled, "Do you know what could've happened, Es?"

"Let my ear…"

Lorelai twisted the girl's ear back a little, and Essie looked up at her, with a tear in her eye, but Lorelai had to tell her. Had to make her see. "How many times I gotta tell you? You can't outrun a goddamn snake, Es!" Lorelai let go of the girl's ear, only to grab her shoulders and shake her back and forth. "You coulda died! That snake coulda got ya, and you'd be dead!"

"I'm sorry…" The girl cried, but Lorelai knew she just wanted her to stop. Tears ran down her dirty face, her blond curls sticking to her face as she cried. "I'm sorry, Lori. I promise I'll…"

The apology from the girl quieted as a loud voice echoed throughout the hollow they called home. A loud, man's voice called out, "Hello on the house!"

Lorelai let go of her sister, standing up tall and squinting her eyes out, her hand over her eyes to try and be able to see. A tall figure, big figure – shadowed through the sun. It wasn't until she saw his limp as he came up the hill to the house that Lorelai knew who it was.

And Essie exclaimed it, her near-death experience completely forgotten. "It's Mr. Tuck!"

Of course it was. Lorelai's stomach turned as she watched the man, breathless from the climb up the small hill, come into view. Stumbling towards her, he smiled, his long beard covering up what Lorelai knew to be his multiple chins that moved every time he walked. The buttons on his red shirt were barely holding the shirt together as his belly pulled and tugged, leaving his fat hanging out at each space between buttons. His suspenders, holding his pants up, look stretched to the max until he stopped and pulled his pants up a little, tucking in the fat around his stomach into the now bulging waistline.

Out of breath still, he stumbled up, looking down at the snake on the stump and kicked it out of the way. "Whew. That hill's a killer on the heart." He sat down, his pants on the blood spattered on the stump, but Lorelai doubted that the blood was even going to be seen through the patches of mud, food, dirt – and any and everything else that was on his holey pants. Face red, he reached into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out a handkerchief that was as dirty as the rest of him. Wiping it across his sweaty brow, he asked, "Your Pa home?"

Essie just jumped in front of him and shook her head, "No. Pa went out huntin' with Billy." Then, leaning over him and pointing at the snake's head right by his hand, she exclaimed, "Look what Lori killed! She saved me!"

Tuck looked up at Lorelai, then right back down her front and said, "Strong girl. Killing a copper."

She shook her head, a small smile plastered to her face as she said, "I have to get back to the house." And, taking her apron in her hands, needing to do something with her trembling fingers, she turned towards the house. "The babies need me."

"Keepin' house, good with the youngins' and a looker…" She refused to turn around to see how he was looking at her, she just heard him whistle, but only a little before he had to take another breath. "… what more could a man want in a woman?"

She just called behind her. "I don't know…" She walked around the littered yard and was just about into the doorway where the boys were screaming for her, and she was sure she heard one of them hitting the other – one scream started a little louder than the other. She stepped in and found Jed holding his head while Johnny beat his fists against his brother's head.

"Hey!" She yelled, and violent little Johnny looked up at her with wide eyes. Walking over to the little fenced in bed they had for the babies, she reached down and firmly tapped the little boxer over the head. "You can't hit your brother, Johnny!" And then she reached for the crying toddler, who wrapped his little arms around her neck and buried his head in her neck, wailing louder than necessary.

But she was focused on the heavy nappy that signaled he had to be changed. Which meant that the other one probably needed it.

Then she looked into the little kitchen, where only half of the barrel of potatoes were peeled. Pa said to have the whole thing done by the time he got home for dinner. He was going to start another batch of the moonshine tonight – if she wasn't done with those – he was gonna be so angry.

Then she heard him. "Lori Mae!" She turned, looking out the doorway and found him standing there by Tuck, leaning on his rifle.

"Lolo!" Johnny called from the bed, his hands outstretched.

And she settled the whimpering twin on her hip while she let the other one toddle along beside her as she walked out the doorway, calling out, "Yes, Pa?"

He didn't even look up. Just gestured her over to him, and kept talking to Tuck. As she walked slowly over, making sure Johnny didn't fall over anything, Lorelai heard Pa talking, "…I mean, you think she'll be able to come over and help look after them youngins'?"

Tuck, still on the stump, just said, "Ain't you got another girl to look after 'em?" Then he shrugged his shoulders, "If I'm paying such a high price, shouldn't I get everything I paid for?"

Pa slapped his knee hard, and said loudly, "Damn it, you'll get more sex than you've had in years. Caint you spare here a few hours a week?"

Lorelai interrupted, just wanting to get back into the house, get the potatoes peeled and the babies changed and find something to eat for dinner. "You wanted me, Pa?" Both men looked up at her.

And her father reached over, his rough hand coming close to her, and she flinched, wondering what she'd done to deserve a slap. But then his hand pulled her chin up, rubbing along her jaw as he looked down at her and said, "You look just like yer ma." His hand moved up her cheek, and Lorelai tried desperately not to ask him a question. Pa didn't like it when the womenfolk talked to him. Unless he asked a question, the girls all knew to keep their mouths shut. "Those eyes and those lips… spitting image of her, that's what you are."

This wasn't like Pa. He didn't talk like this – he never talked about Ma. And whenever the kids asked about her, he cuffed them hard upside the head and cussed – he never talked about Ma.

Pa took his hand off her face and turned to Tuck. "You see the youngin's I got from her ma." God, what were they talking about? Lorelai darted her eyes away from the long stares Tuck was giving her. Up and down. And she switched Jed to her other hip, feeling horribly awkward and confused. Pa continued, "You'd have a nice brood with this one."

This one? Was he talking about her?

Tuck said, "I ain't wanting to have no youngin's." He slowly pushed himself to his feet – towering over her as he walked towards her. She looked down at the ground, wanting to ask what the hell was going on. "But she sure is a looker, that's fer sure." Then, eyes still on her, he said, "Ricky, I'll let her come over once in a while and look after the washin' and cleanin' if that's what ya want."

And then, when Tuck's disgusting hands reached out and touched her arm, she knew what they were talking about. Who they were talking about. It was her.

She pulled away, not wanting his hand anywhere close to her if her mind was in the right direction. And, unable to think about the rules, she protested, "Pa, what's going on?"

Tuck answered, stepping towards her. "Lori, you're gonna come live with me…"

She shook her head after a shiver ran up her spine, despite the hot summer heat. "I ain't goin' to live with you…" And she looked to the toddler in her arms, and the one running around playing with some animal carcass. "I gotta take care of the babies, Pa…"

"Lori Mae." He warned.

And normall that would've been enough to silence her. But, as Tuck's hand rested on her free hip, she felt her stomach turn and she stepped towards Pa. "You can't be serious. I can't marry…"

Pa's jaw clenched, and she knew she should stop. "You do what I say. And I say this is what's best for this family."

Pleading, she stepped even closer, looking up at him, and said, "I clean the house, I watch the kids, I do the washing… you can't…"

Lorelai felt the slap across her face, and she stumbled backwards, careful not to fall because she was holding the baby.

And Pa's angry voice rang through her ears, "You do what I say, Lori Mae! Do you understand me?"

She just stood there, trying to stop the world from spinning around her, trying to keep the words from begging him not to do whatever he was going to do.

Tuck's voice, deep and disturbing, rang too, "You'll like my house, Lori. It's real nice. Got a stove. And a fireplace inside…" She didn't want to hear about the house. She didn't want to feel his hand on the small of her back, or hear his voice anymore in her ear, "I'm a real fine man, Lori. You'll learn to like it there…"

"Won't have no girl talking back to me." Pa said, staring at her, just threatening her to say something else so he could cuff her again. "Tuck here's agreed to give me some money to buy new clothes for the others and that'll give us enough to buy a milk cow."

Money and a cow? Money she knew he'd go drinking with. And a cow? With who to take care of it? And…

The conversation was interrupted as four kids stumbled through the brush, the boys, as usual shoving and pushing each other while Jessie-anne and Becky walked along behind.

"Hey," James whined as he shoved his brother so hard, the scrawny Brady fell to the ground, but jumped right back to his feet, preparing to hit his brother again. But James just shoved him again. "You're just mad because Teacher told you off in front of the whole class…"

Lorelai watched as Johnny ran over to his sister – Jessie, who scooped him right up, her little ten-year-old figure barely able to even hold him up as she bounced him around on her hip. "Did you have a good day?" She chattered on with him, Becky, the eight-year-old antithesis of her twin, Brady, right there by Jessie's side – Becky never left her sister's side. Mostly because Becky never talked. Had never talked. Never said her first word. Ma had said that it was because Brady said enough for the both of them – but Lorelai always wondered what was going on inside of her little sister's head.

Brady, tumbling once again after his older brother shoved him, stood up, wiping his bloody nose on his shirt and yelled back, "Oh shut up!"

James just laughed, and taunted, "Come make me, you sissy!"

"I'm gonna shove your head up your…"

The chaos immediately ceased the minute Pa spoke. "Enough!"

James stopped mid punch. Brady halted in his lunge. Both the girls looked up at their Pa, and even Lorelai felt Jed stop wiggling to get down out of her arms and looked right up at Pa.

And he immediately started barking out orders. "Brady, fetch some water from the creek."

The boy ran off, but not before saying a quiet, "Yes, sir."

"Jessie-Anne."

"Yes, Pa?" She quietly asked, her brown hair tumbling over her eyes as she tried to see out of it.

"Get inside and set the table for supper."

Both girls began to walk towards the house.

"Not you, Becky."

Lorelai cringed as she realized Pa must really be angry to even think of giving Becky a chore. Because the interaction between the two of them always ended in the girl obeying but crying, usually after Pa yelled at her after smacking her hard.

The little girl's body shook as she stood there, her hands fumbling with her flour-sack dress, and she looked at the ground, waiting as Jessie-Anne walked into the house with Johnny on her hip.

"Look at me." Pa said, and Becky slowly met his gaze. "Get yerself into the back shed."

Not the shed. Lorelai stepped forward, "Pa, you can't…"

But he raised a hand to her, and she immediately stepped back, her heart pounding as she watched little Becky nod to Pa and begin to walk back towards the little shed at the back of the house.

Pa called after her, "Grab a stick on the way."

The little head nodded, and then hung.

"Pa, she didn't do anything." Lorelai simply said, hating when he did this.

He just said, "Lorelai, if you know what's good for you, you'll shut your trap this instant." And then he added, "All the youngin's learned that way, she will too."

Of course they had. They learned to fear their Pa from an early age. Ma had called it his "examplin'." Whenever he felt angry, he picked one kid to take the beating. Teaching all the others that he was in charge – and he got out some good swipes across the back of their bare legs with a long tree branch.

Poor Becky had been the example for a long time. Something about her quietness irritated Pa to no end.

One kid left standing there. James. The second oldest boy. At thirteen, he teetered between manhood and boyhood. Tall, like the rest of the family, his shaggy blond hair was dirtier than the others, after having refused to take a bath when Lorelai told him – part of his new found rebellion. He stood there, his shoulders squared as he looked his Pa straight on, not in an obstinante pose, but he didn't know fear like the girls of the family knew.

"Boy." That was Pa's way of talking to James when he was in trouble. "I thought I told you that you're too old for school."

Of course he had. The minute the boys were able to work – school was out of the question. The only reason Jessie-Anne was ten and still got to go was because she was a girl. Otherwise, she would've been home, out at the still with Pa. Like James and Bobby should have been.

James knew better than to argue with Pa.

So Pa just continued on. "I ain't afraid to give you a good sound whipping, boy." Of course, no one was. Just last week, Lorelai felt the sting of a branch on her legs. "But you're gonna learn the hard way that this house and family ain't run on schoolin'."

Lorelai knew what was coming. She shifted Jed to the other hip, Tuck coming into her view again. But she just listened as Pa continued. "You gonna learn what it feels like not to have a house. Or family. See what schoolin' gets ya."

Pa had done the same thing with Bobby, the brother that was fifteen, only ten months younger than Lorelai. He kicked him outta the house for three days. Out there in the mountains, to fend for himself. Pa had chased Bobby out of the yard with his rifle, telling the boy that he would come find him when it was time to come home. Out there, in the mountain, cold, wet, with the mountain lions and copperheads – three days.

James, the little fighter, just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fun. No chores."

Lorelai yelled for Pa to stop as he raised his rifle, pulling the butt of the gun to his shoulder. James jumped back, running for the woods, but not before Pa shot a round right above his head, buckeye flying into the tree right next to James' fleeing form. And Pa yelled out, "Don't come back until I call yer!"

"Pa," Lorelai started, "I told him to go to school." He had put up a good fight earlier, but she thought it was just because he didn't like school. Now he was out there all alone. Not that he couldn't handle it. They all could. "I thought he just didn't want to go."

"Lori Mae, git yerself inside that house." Then he turned back towards them, and saw Tuck standing right beside her. "Tell Tuck goodnight."

Tell him goodnight? What did that mean? Jed twirled his fingers around the stray hairs that had come out of her braid, and she could hear Johnny up in the house, hollering for her to come change him.

But the big hand that found its way to the small of her back held her in place. And his breath smelled like death as she leaned down towards her, his belly brushing up against her as he said, "Night, Lori Mae."

She couldn't move. She squeezed her eyes closed, wishing only for him to leave her alone, but she felt his hand on her back curl up around her shoulder. Lorelai stiffened as she felt his other hand grate against the side of her face as he leaned down. Her lips trembled as she felt his big mouth lightly touch them – and she instinctively turned her head to the side where his hand wasn't holding her. Eyes still closed, she wanted to yell at him to stop touching her as he planted a rough kiss on her cheek. And felt his warm breath against her skin as he chuckled and said, "We'll have time to work on that later."

It wasn't until he stepped away from her that Lorelai finally opened her eyes, watching as her father tipped his hat to Tuck as the man again lumbered down the hill, out of the yard, out of her sight.

But nowhere close to out of her mind. Taking the hand that wasn't balancing the toddler on her hip, Lorelai wiped her face off, wanting to take an entire bath after that man touched her arm and kissed her face. And she looked up at Pa, wanting to tell him that she would never marry that oaf of a man.

Pa must've know what she was thinking, and he grabbed her shoulder and pushed her towards the house, "No talking back to me, ya hear?" And then he barely cuffed her in the back of the head when she didn't walk fast enough. "Supper better be ready soon."

And that was the end of the discussion.

For now.


	6. Chapter 6

"Make him stop kickin' me!" Essie whined out.

To which Brady shot back, "Get on your side!"

Lorelai jumped into the conversation as she stepped over Becky's cot on the floor to reach the bed where three wiggle worms were. "Essie, you have to sleep close to the wall." And then, looking to the boy in the middle, she wagged her finger in Brady's face, "And if you kick her again, I swear I'll send you out to the shed to wait for Pa."

"Why, she's just a girl…" Came the snotty reply out of his mouth. "Ain't no thing getting her outta my sleepin' space."

Lorelai swatted him upside the head and gave him a fiery look that silenced him up fast. And then, to Jessie Anne, Lorelai said, "Nice to sleep in the bed?"

A small nod was her reply. And quiet, "I wish James were here."

Lorelai could see the ten-year-old was tired, her eyelids drooping after working so hard tonight, helping Lorelai finish shucking the corn so Pa wasn't in a bad mood all night. And then helping watch the twins while Lorelai cleaned up from supper – of course the girl was tired. Brushing stringy hair from Jessie Anne's face, Lorelai leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead before she said, "James is a strong kid. He'll be fine."

The girl turned over onto her side, looking at Lorelai through drooping eyes, and said, "I still miss him."

Pulling the thin blanket up over all three of the little ones in the bed, Lorelai just muttered, "Me too."

She blew out the candle that lit the loft just before she turned to walk to the ladder going down into the house. But she made sure to stop and tuck Becky in, already fast asleep. Her face was streaked as the tears had made grooves along the lines of dirt on her cheeks. As Lorelai pulled the blanket over the small child, she hated that Becky hadn't been able to eat anything from dinner – having been sent up here for the rest of the night after her whipping. Lorelai reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a small piece of bread she saved for the girl. Setting it on her pillow, Lorelai leaned down and kissed her head, whispering, "I'm so sorry, Becky." But the girl didn't stir, which was probably good, thinking about the stinging pain Lorelai knew all too well would follow anything the girl did for days.

But as she turned and climbed down the wooden ladder from the small loft that held two beds and blankets on the floor for those who had to sleep on the floor. She looked up just, just to make sure they were all settling down. But, even with all their energy, Lorelai knew everyday life tired them out – enough that most of them didn't mind sleeping on the floor when they had to. Usually, James and Brady shared one of the beds while Bobby had the other one. But with James gone, Lorelai let the two girls who were awake share the bed for one night – with much argument from Brady, who spouted off something that sounded just like Pa about how womenfolk didn't have to work as hard as the men. So why would they get to sleep in a comfortable place?

And Lorelai had to bite her tongue not to tell her little brother off about how her hands ached every night when she went to bed. That after hauling water for dishes, shucking corn for the still, toting babies around with her all day – she worked harder than almost anyone else in this family did. If anyone deserved a bed – it was Lorelai – especially after wash day. Which was tomorrow. Hauling buckets of water up from the creek, scrubbing dirt from the washing, wringing the clothes out – hanging them up to dry – all in the dead heat of summer – Lorelai definitely deserved the bed.

But it would cause too much of a stir with the little kids. And Bobby – Lorelai reached the bottom of the ladder and walked over to the little bed where the twins were fast asleep. Covering them up, she almost laughed thinking about how Bobby would react if she asked him to let her sleep on the bed for one night.

God. That would be the worst thing ever. He'd laugh, like he laughed when she was running after one twin while the other grabbed a hot loaf of bread off of the table. Or he'd laugh like he did watching James cry after sticking himself while playing stick knife – the game Bobby taught his younger brothers that involved standing barefoot in the dirt, a pocket knife in hand, dropping the knife as close to your foot without stabbing yourself. James had stabbed himself playing a game with Bobby… bandaging a boy's foot up while her brother laughed and taunted James about being such a little girl – that had been a fun experience.

She looked around the little house, making sure there weren't any candles burning before she grabbed the shawl from the hook by the door. As she wrapped the light knitted material around her arms, she wished she could still smell her mother's scent on the homemade shawl. It still hurt – even after a year.

Stepping out onto the dirt, she felt the cold underneath her feet – felt nice after the warm autumn day they had. She looked out over the rest of the world down below them, the foothills rolling up and down along the horizon, trees, now dark, swaying with the wind that blew tendrils of Lorelai's hair gently across her face as she made her way over to where the others were sitting.

Pa, up on an old crate against the house, was whittling, his sharp knife sending strips of wood fluttering to the ground in such a rhythmic fashion. Pipe in his mouth, he talked around the old wood as he was saying, "… be fine. Ain't heard of no mountain lions in these parts for a few weeks anyway."

They were talking about James. Lorelai sat down on an old box – one they used to haul corn back and forth from the fields – making sure her thin dress covered the back of her legs so she wouldn't get any splinters.

"You know how stupid that kid is, though." Bobby said, spitting out the juice from his chewing tobacco, moving the leaves around against his bottom lip with his tongue before he continued, "He'd walk right off a cliff if you told him a perty girl was at the bottom."

They both laughed, and Lorelai watched as her brother, sprawled up on another box, kicked back and reveled in Pa's affirmation of his approval. Bobby, in Lorelai's opinion, looked like a cross between Ma and Pa. With his broad shoulders, strong arms from working out in the cornfield, he towered over her, despite him being less than a year younger than she was – his body seemed to have been made for hard work, something Pa used to his advantage, pulling Bobby out of school when he was only ten to help him in the fields. But Bobby's red hair – that he got from their Ma, and his face rounded out at a perfect replica of Ma. But that was where the comparison stopped. Because where Ma had been sweet and kind, Bobby could be cruel and taunting just like Pa. Ever since she was little, she remembered him pulling on her braids, lying to Pa about trouble he caused, blaming it on her, grabbing food off her plate at dinner just because he wanted to. That was all stuff he learned from Pa. Who, when Lorelai complained about Bobby taking her food, said, "Growing boy needs more food than a girl anyway. If ya can't learn to protect yer food, Lori Mae, don't come whining to me." Yep. Bobby was just like Pa.

"Youngins' in bed?" Pa asked, not even looking up from his whittling.

She nodded, "Yes, sir."

Lorelai knew she couldn't sleep with what happened earlier on her mind. There was no way she could think about sleeping with the thought of that man's hands on her, trying to kiss her. But it was going to take a whole lot of guts to try and talk it through with Pa. Because once Pa made up his mind, there was nothing gonna change it.

But she had to.

Bringing it up, though – that was the hard part – knowing when and how to talk about it – her hands shook already just with the thought of what he might do to her.

But she didn't have to wait, because Bobby said to her, "Heard you had a visitor today, Lori." Then he laughed. "Fat ole Tuck… never woulda picture him for you."

Her eyes immediately darted to her Pa's, where he stopped whittling and pulled his pipe out of his mouth to laugh. Laughing. And then, to Bobby, Pa said, "How long he been looking fer another wife? Five years?" Bobby shrugged, and then Pa laughed, "Well, he was willing to do the good thing and paid a good price for her."

They laughed. At the thought of her with that man. Laughing. While she sat there thinking about what it would be like living with him. He was older than Pa – he'd been married a long time ago, before Lorelai was born – something about her dying in childbirth, but Lorelai wouldn't have blamed her for anything to get out of that place. He was so old. And filthy. If his shirt and pants and face and hands were that horribly dirty, Lorelai could only imagine what his house looked like – not that she was used to splendor or anything fancy, but at least her house was clean. And then the thought of actually being his wife. Sent shivers up her spine.

Which must have been the reason she found the guts to finally say, "I don't want to."

The only sound was the crickets chirping in the background and the wind rustling through the trees. She watched Pa, knife in hand, set the little block of wood he had been working on down in his lap as he just stared at her.

Bobby broke the silence, with his sarcastic tone, "Ain't like you got no choice."

"Shut up." She said harshly to him, pushing the thought of being forced into this out of her mind.

Her Pa's tone made her jump. Icy and cold. "Don't talk to your brother like that."

Of course he would take Bobby's side. "Pa, I can't marry that man." She played with the ends of Ma's shawl while she said, "He's old. And gross. And…"

"You'll get used to the smell after a while." Bobby chimed in, laughing as he said, "Maybe Pa can convince him to take a bath before your wedding night."

She didn't know what she felt more. Repulsion at the thought of being in the same bed with that animal. And everything that came after that – she hugged the shawl tightly around her. But she also felt anger. At being treated like she had no say in the matter. Ma had told her how Pa had courted her, bringing her flowers, and how he asked her to marry him – that was nothing like this. It was her life. She had to live with that man – not her Pa or her brother.

And she just simply said, "I won't." And she swallowed, waiting for the hell to break lose.

"You have a death wish." Her brother said.

But Lorelai was focused on her Pa – watching as he simply took another puff on his pipe and then let the smoke out. And he shook his head, "Do you need me to take you out back?"

"You're going to whip me to get me to marry him?" She asked, almost unbelieving. She could almost feel the sting of the branch against her legs, but she would gladly take that everyday rather than be forever tied to that man. "I'm not a little kid anymore. I have some say in what I have to do with the rest of my life…"

Both of the men laughed, and her Pa just sat up, both feet on the ground as he said, "You're a woman. Of course you have no say."

And Lorelai, standing to her feet, just simply said, "I can run away."

Now Pa was angrier than she had seen him in a long time. Because she talked about running away. The one control that a woman had. The one thing Lorelai could do to refuse whatever future her pa had for her. But Pa's hands were shaking as he stood to his feet, his voice growing louder and louder with each word he spoke, "You are going to marry that man."

She shook her head, taking a step back from the man she knew wouldn't hesitate to hit her. "You can't make me, Pa." And another step back, her voice shaking, "I can run down that mountain and never come back."

Now she watched as he reached his hand out, the one with the knife in it, and shook his right in front of her face, "You ungrateful little bitch." She watched the moonlight glint off of the metal blade she stepped back from. Now he was yelling, "You know we need the money. You know your brothers and sisters need new clothes."

She shook her head, retreating faster and faster, "I'll go work somewhere. I'll sew more patches into the clothes. I just won't marry him."

He moved faster than she thought he could, and he grabbed both of her shoulders and shook her, "I'm gonna wup you so hard…"

She was scared, and she wondered if this is what Ma felt like right before she ran away. And Lorelai whimpered as his hands dug into her skin while he yelled, "You never talk about runnin' away again, Lori Mae, do you hear me?" His breath smelled like moonshine as he brought her face up to his and yelled, "I said do you hear me!"

Tears ran down her face as she shook her head, "Pa, please, I… I…"

And then he shoved her. Down to the ground, her head hitting the dirt hard. "It's time to grow up, Lori Mae. Realize that you're only good for this."

She scrambled to get to her feet, but his foot came down on her hand, causing her to cry out as she felt such pressure as he put all his weight down on her hand. And yelled, "You're going to marry that man! Do you hear me?"

Lorelai couldn't imagine what would come after she said yes. She couldn't imagine anything except getting him off of her hand – which felt like things were cracking underneath them as he leaned even harder onto her little fingers. "Please, Pa, Please… "

Her head fell back to the ground as his knee made contact with her face, shattering pain flying through her chin where he kicked her. Now his voice teetered in and out of her spinning head as she heard him yell, "Do you fucking understand me, Lori?"

And, from the splitting pain in her head and the pressure she felt against her hand, she could do only one thing. She nodded.

Almost immediately, his foot came off her hand, which she brought immediately to her chest as she sat up and tried to get away, crawling away. But not fast enough as she felt a kick to her ribs, sending even more pain flying through her body.

And, through tears, she looked up to see him looking down at her, his face red and fists clenched at his sides. Through a clenched jaw, he said, "If you ever say anything like that again, I swear to god I'll beat you so hard you won't be able to walk for a week."

She brought her knees to her chest as she tried to sit up, but was unable to without falling over if she wasn't holding onto her legs. Head spinning she watched with relief as he began to walk away. Her heart was pounding, her hand frozen in pain – and she just wanted him to leave so she could recover.

Until he turned around, and, with one fell swoop, she watched the pocket knife leave his hand, his strong arm sending the knife flying through the air – right towards her.

The knife blade stuck in the ground – right between where her feet were pulled up to her body – her bare feet there in the dirt as the sharp knife just teetered back and forth before stopping right there.

And his menacing words right at her, "You try and run, I'll kill you, Lori Mae." And he pointed his finger right at her and hissed, "Like I shoulda killed yer Ma." His boots stomped into the house, and Lorelai was left there, outside, her entire body shaking as she looked down at the knife that could have easily sailed into her chest.

He tried to kill her – or he made her realize he could. He could. Lorelai was convinced of that. Before tonight. But she never thought he would kill her. Beat her, sure, kick her a few times, sure – but throw a knife at her?

Bobby walked by, looking down at her with a gleam in his eyes. Shaking his head, he simply said, "Women. They never learn…"

And then she flinched back as he spat his tobacco juice down at her, hitting the front of her dress and right along her face – warm and sticky, the juice dripped down her face as she watched him walk into the house, muttering something under his breath. And then laughing.

Leaving here there, on the ground, her hand throbbing and her face in tremendous pain. Laying back against the ground, she looked up at the stars, trying to calm her breathing down. Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she realized that she had been crying this whole time. And there, on her back, on the ground, looking up at the sky, she cried, her whole back trembling against the dirt – crying from pain – crying from humiliation – crying from fear. Fear was the strongest. Fear wrapped itself around her entire body, tightening its grip with each sob that shook her pain-riddled body.

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All of the memories – crashing down around her – as she stood there on the sidewalk, staring up at her father. She couldn't breathe.

Couldn't think.

Other than to say, "I asked you what the hell you're doing here."

"Oh." He took another step toward her and stretched his hand out to touch hers on the car door, his dirty hand resting on her white glove. "Lori Mae, you look so beautiful."

She pulled her hand away from him, finding her voice. And her strength. And she said, "And you look like the same deadbeat I left years ago."

He took off his hat, running his hand through his greasy hair as he said, "Still got that mouth on ya, girl." Then he looked at Sonny, and said, "I really did try with her, I really did." He wagged his finger in her face, "Tried to control her tongue, I did."

Sonny didn't give her father the time of day, but looked right at Lorelai and said, "I think maybe we should go."

Lorelai, didn't take her eyes off her father, staring him straight in the eye, and she simply nodded and said, "I think you're right."

And she turned, leaving him behind, getting down into the limousine when she heard her father say, "I thought you woulda asked about the youngins'…"

Of course. She would have. That's the only part of back home that she even thought to care about. Just before the door was about to close – she held out her hand – stopping it, and looked up at her father, who was now hanging over the door, and she just stared at him.

And he smiled. That same smile when Tuck handed him the wad of cash after her wedding. And he smiled down at her and said, "I thought you'd want to know."

"Know what?" She hissed.

He shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Well, since your marriage wasn't a real one…" He blew right past that like he hadn't forced her into a marriage with a man three times her age. And he just said, "Tuck decided he liked the girls in the family, and, well…" Lorelai's heart stopped. And she stood up so fast, pushing the door back so he had to catch his balance before he finished, "Jessie Anne's been real happy with him."

At the thought of her sister living there in that house, cooking and cleaning for that man as Lorelai had done day in and day out. Putting up with his garbage and trash talk of her. The way he just wanted to be fed and taken care of like he was a little child – Lorelai stepped out from the car door – walking towards her father. And the thoughts of sleeping in bed with that man, his arms smothering her while he slept, holding her close to his sweaty body – Lorelai wanted to puke at the memories – and she wanted to tear her father's eyes out thinking of her little sister there with that same man.

"Still feeling a little for your ex-husband?" He asked, taunting her – now she could see it in his eyes – but she still walked over to him. Him towering above her.

But she jammed her finger into his chest and yelled, "You wouldn't dare have married my little sister to that pig."

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "Got six kids now, she does."

The memories of giving birth in that house, rocking the baby to sleep, praying Rory would be quiet so Tuck wouldn't get angry. Having six? God, Lorelai just shook with anger as she yelled, "Have you no shame? I told you how horrible that man was! I told…"

He grabbed her arm.

She looked down at it, forgetting everything she had been thinking. And she just stared. Watching his fingers curl around her satin shirt – his dirty, rough, horrible hands – holding her there in place again.

And she wasn't afraid.

She wasn't at all. Because she simply said, "Sonny…"

And then looked up to see her father's face cloud with the fear she would have felt years ago had he grabbed her like that.


End file.
